You were the last of seven.
We were to be paired.
You would be mine as I was to be yours.
But you were incomplete when
You left our mother’s womb.
Shy of a half chromosome
How I wish I had a spare.
I felt the universe had thrown you away
Into the river, so I leapt after you.
It was my duty as your sibling
And an honor as your pair to take good care of you.
Was it a joke when my mother named you Joseph?
You would never wear a coat of many colors.
You would be loved
Not envied and sold into slavery.
I was the one who had mystical dreams
Years before you were born I dreamed of you.
My elders had their pair
Who looked up to them and loved them.
I wanted my pair to do the same,
Because I would love them just the same.
Instead, fate would have us
Pitted against each other.
Like Romulus and Remus who were saved by the wolf
And raised to follow the Shepard.
The Shepard told us to pray
So you kept your hands clasped in prayer
You reminded me to pray
With your hands tightly clasped
On that fatal day
Your hands loosened
Mother screamed, “Jesus!”
And you gasped your list in His presence.
Like Romulus killed Remus,
I too killed you.
Betrayed by your own tongue
In your mouth and in the flesh.
They told me to never lay you down.
They taught me infant CPR.
You were blue and dying between my hands.
My mind was blank like my words
It was the last time I felt you.
It was the last time I would feel.
I would hug mother for the first time
When I saw you in white lying on your back.
She didn’t hug me back.
I wish you could come back.
If for nothing else, but
To have her stop blaming me.
We were her unwanted children
Even if she never said so, her indifference did.
Romulus killed Remus because of a hill.
I killed you because of my ignorance.
Romulus went on to build Rome.
I’m still reeling in the rubble.
The world will lack and stagnate
As I have lacked and stagnated.
Without my pair
It’s just not fair.